Notes for Potential Suitor

(I just want to remind the tumblsphere at large that this tumblog is now written by many different authors, and so not to assume that everything published here is written by the person who originally created the tumblog. The views in this tumblog do not represent the views of every contributor. That is all)

#71

If we don’t know each other that well yet, it’s okay to keep some things to yourself. Being a little mysterious can be intriguing and sexy; I don’t need to talk to you every second of the day even though I can see you’re active in my chat window.

If I talk to you all the time, there won’t be any need for me to date you because you’ve told me everything already. I might have liked to talk about our shared love of Top Gun over linguine and a glass of wine, instead while I’m trying to prepare for a meeting at work at 2:00 in the afternoon over G-Chat.  

And for goodness sake, if my status is BUSY, do not send me a message anyway. I will ignore you, and then I’ll feel guilty for doing so. Guilt is not an emotion you want me to associate with you.

Social media is a dating tool — use it responsibly.

#69

(I can’t NOT take advantage of the fact that this is post #69).

Relationships are about give and take. That includes sex. I will happily give, but I expect to receive as well. If you stop, I stop.

#68

Hold the door open for me, not because I am a woman but because it is the polite thing to do.  Then hold the door open for everyone else.

*Swoon*

#67

Well, I thought my well of notes for a potential suitor had run dry (which is why you see a few new authors on the site). Good news for everybody! I joined okcupid and it’s going to be flow river, flow I bet! In very related news, do you follow mistakesdaily?

So, #67. OH MY GOD. YOU SELF-DESCRIBE AS A WOMANIZER?

#66

If you’ve had a full beard or at least some kind of facial hair for the entire time I’ve known you, I will not be amused if you shave it all off without telling me. I might even be mad. Pick your timing well.

#65

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, say something trite like, “can I kiss you?” or “is it alright if I kiss you” or etc.

No matter how much I would like you to kiss me, no matter how much I would like to kiss you, no matter if I was just about to kiss you myself…

If you ASK to kiss me I will make an awkward semi-joke and change the conversation, or maybe just leave altogether. Just do it. There are many things for which permission should be asked, but kissing is not one of them.

If it turns out I don’t want to be kissed, don’t worry about it. I’ll dodge. I’m practically a professional in that area.

#64

Sometimes I forget that I’ve seen all the original Star Wars movies. And the full Godfather trilogy. I have. No need to mock me for it. I’ll remember eventually.

#63

If you can’t look me in the eye, I can’t take you seriously.  So, suitor, a little eye contact never hurt anyone.  Unless you’re cyclops from X-men…